A few years ago, I was feeling worn out. Really worn out. I was teaching at a great school, my kids went to school with me, the commute was more than ideal, but I was losing the joy of the job. The job felt draining and negative. When I first started teaching, and worked with a few experienced teachers who were negative and crabby, I thought, “I don’t want to get like that.” So, as a new young teacher, I did what I could to widen my knowledge and experience to keep the profession fresh. Yet, here I was starting to feel negative and crabby, and worn out. Ugh. I knew part of the reason was I had been doing the same thing for awhile - same school and same grade, yet I really didn’t want to change schools because my kids were there, and I wasn’t ready to change grade levels. But, I knew something needed to change because the joy was escaping.
So, I started thinking about things a little differently. I started asking myself...
“What if the problem is me? What if I’m the one who has to change? What if I’m the one who needs a better attitude? What if I’m the one who needs to care for kids differently? What if I’m the one who needs to avoid negativity around me? What if I’m the one who needs to change how I’m teaching? What if I’m the one who affects the environment in my classroom?”
True story. I had to examine what I was doing, and make some changes. I didn’t change schools and I didn’t change grade levels. I changed how I approached things and I changed my perspective... it made all the difference.
I had to change my perspective, which meant I had to choose empathy. We talk a lot about building empathy in kids, but we sometimes forget to practice it as educators. Once I allowed myself to better understand the backgrounds of my students, their struggles, and their needs, the easier it was to empathize instead of criticize. In a sense, it was like taking back the power of teaching. When we know our students - really know them - we plan better, we teach better, and we take less things personally. We start to see behaviors less as a personal offense and more as a lack of skills.
I purposefully chose to welcome the challenging kids, like them, and not complain about them. I chose to avoid the negative talk that we educators can get wrapped up in. (Much easier to say than do!) I chose to jump back into learning professionally. I chose to have fun in my job. It’s so hard to balance the stresses of our job, but it is so necessary. Kids feel the energy from teachers. Sometimes we just need to smile a bit more! What if we start each day looking for ways to make it fun? I truly believe we need to go back to relationship based teaching where every kid feels connected, liked, and a part of the classroom community.
Was the job still hard? You bet. Did I still make mistakes and find myself joining the complaining? Unfortunately, yes. But I kept coming back to the main question, “What if it’s me?” This kept me centered on what I knew would make a difference for my students and for me.
So...some food for thought...
What are we as teachers doing to make sure every kid feels connected and liked?
What do our most challenging kids receive from us? Are they only hearing reprimands and redirections?
If my own kids were in my classroom, would I be happy as a parent? Would I know they were loved and cared for, uniquenesses and all?
What if it’s me who sets the tone?
What's one little change I can make?
Here's hoping January brings renewal and joy in your classroom!